A fictional corporate memo.

On this Earth Day, I wanted to take the opportunity to remind you all of our deep committment to environmental awareness here at XYZ Corp.  We are committed to being as green as possible in the interest of preserving our fragile Earth for generations to come.  No doubt you have all been thoroughly immersed in all of our efforts, but I thought I’d remind you of the following, just to once again pound home the idea that we care about the Earth.

  • All of our printers are set to print double sided as a default, in the name of saving the environment.  We also highly recommend that you change your printer settings to not print cover pages, to again save our trees.  Trees are important to save.  As an added bonus, we cut our paper budget in half by being green here.
  • The majority of the conference rooms and office have motion-activated light switches.  Lights turn on when motion is detected, and turn off after a few minutes of inactivity.  We can save lots of energy by having the lights go out when nobody is using them, which saves valuable natural resources.  Oh yeah, it saves on the electric bill too.
  • All employees have been issued canvas sacks to take to the cafeteria to hold our food instead of having to get a tray. This saves water and electricity by not having to wash and sanitize a bunch of trays, which shows just how much XYZ cares about conservation of precious resources like water.  (And, we don’t need to hire someone to collect trays and wash them.)  That we serve all food in plastic or stryofoam plates and containers that pile up in landfills also helps us save our water.
  • Paystubs, medical explanations of benefits, annual shareholder reports, W2’s, etc. are all conveniently available for electronic delivery instead of via postal mail.  This saves hundreds of thousands of trees every year.  As I mentioned before, saving trees is important.  By not actually mailing out all these papers, we help to eliminate dangerous global warming.  And hey, we’ve got an additional perk in the hundreds of thousands of dollars we save by not having to pay for postage.
  • Our Facilities Department is also concerned about our natural resources as well.  We’ve made changes in all our buildings to keep them at 55 degrees in the winter, and 83 degrees in the summer.  Yes, some people are quite uncomfortable, especially the gentlemen who wear neckties in the summer and the ladies who wear miniskirts and sleeveless tops in winter, but in doing this we are saving tons of oil and natural gas so that our great-grandchildren will be able to enjoy these important fossil fuels.  There’s a rumor going around that this move was done to save on the HVAC bill.  I assure you this is not the case.  We’re all about being good environmental stewards here.

We care about our planet, and will anything we can to help save it, provided it is fiscally feasible.

Thanks for all your support of our green initiatives.