News is out that the Holy See has decided to launch a doctrinal investigation into a variety of women’s religious orders.  This is in addition to a quality of life investigation to be undertaken as well.

Sisters around the world are shaking in their orthotic shoes.  It’s possible that Rome is finally realizing what a whacked-out group of tired old hippie feminazis so many of them have become.

We have learned exclusively that the leaders of several dozen larger communities are organizing a convention to discuss the impact these visitations to have, and to get together in solidarity for what may be trying times.  As part of the convention, whose working title is “Standing up for Vatican II: It’s Spirit May Be Fading, but Ours Isn’t,” someone composed an anthem, which will be sung each day during various gatherings.

A copy of this anthem has been leaked, and is presented below the fold.

Anthem for the Religious of Today

You put a new charism in
You toss the old one out
You get a new ID
And you shake it all about.
You do the V2-pokey and you turn yourself around
That’s why we’re dying out!

You toss a plaid-skirt in
You throw your habit out
You add a frizzy perm
And you shake it all about.
You do the V2-pokey and you turn yourself around
That’s why we’re dying out!

You put social justice in
You toss your prayer life out
You hug a couple trees
And you shake it all about.
You do the V2-pokey and you turn yourself around
That’s why we’re dying out!

You put a tamb’rine in
You put the pipe organ out
Add liturgical dance
And you shake it all about
You do the V2-pokey and you turn yourself around
That’s why we’re dying out!

You put a labyrinth in
You toss the rosary out
Add some centering prayer
And you shake it all about
You do the V2-pokey and you turn yourself around
That’s why we’re dying out!

You throw heresy in
Throw the catechism out
Fight for women priests
And you shake it all about
You do the V2-pokey and you turn yourself around
That’s why we’re dying out!