The Musings of a Magyar

I’m beginning to think that the surest way to see how stupid someone can be is to see how they drive in winter weather.

Exhibit A: Saw a driver who must have only brushed his/her windshield.  The snow on their roof then fell onto the windshield once they get underway, and the only visibility they have is the swatch the wipers clear.  Snow from the hood rolls down and rests on their bumper, completely obscuring their headlights.  At least the headlights were on, but all they did was cast a faint glow.

Exhibit B:  car pulls out of Wawa right in front of me.  I hit the brakes; ABS kicks as I also drop the car into low gear to slow down.  Idiot realizes it wasnt’ the smartest move and slams the accelerator.  Except his sporty coupe isn’t designed for this kind of weather and simply fishtails left and right while the back tires spin with no forward motion at all.

Feel free to add your own examples of winter-weather stupidity in the comments.

So apparently there was some flubbing Tuesday of the oath of office.  Both sides of the political divide are trying to blame the other as to whether the Chief Justice of the United States got distracted, or whether Barack Hussein Obama got distracted and messed up the Chief Justice.  Regardless of who gets the blame, the flub raises an interesting question:  was the swearing-in valid?  And since I’m am a big nerd, I immediately began to think in terms of sacramental theology for this.  After all, his taking the oath of office is like taking a marriage vow, and he’s being admitted into a certain office a la Holy Orders, so it was worth the musing.

As well all [should] know, a sacrament requires three things to be validly administered: matter, form, and intention.  So for the “sacrament” of Innauguration, I would propose the following (understanding that I am neither a civil nor canon lawyer; this is all for entertainment only):

Intention:  clearly, Barack Hussein Obama has every intention of becoming president.  I would suppose that the minister of this “sacrament” would be the man taking the oath of office, just as the minister(s) of the marital covenant are the spouses contracting matrimony.  The Chief Justice serves only as a witness that the oath was taken.  The Chief Justice doesn’t confer upon the candidate the office; it is assumed by the swearing of the oath.  (Incidentally, with many public offices, while there are often elaborate swearings-in involving judges, that’s often done for show.  The oath can be taken before anyone authorized to administer an oath, e.g. a notary public.)  So, as long as BHO intended to assume the office of presidency, we’re covered here.

Matter:  The constitution sets out certain rules for who can be the president.  One taking the office must be a certain age, a natural-born citizen, and have lived in the country for some set time prior to being eligible for office.  One must also have secured the vote of the Electoral College to validly assume office.  I can go up to my mom, a notary public, and take the oath of office but that no more makes me the President than my saying the vows of matrimony to my lawn mower makes me married.  There is some question still out there as to whether BHO is a natural-born citizen or not.  But, he did win the electoral college and has apparently satisfied the other requirements.  This one is still a gray area.

Form:  The Constitution itself spells out the oath of office for the President.  So for validity, those words would need to be followed.  But as with most “sacraments” there must be some question of what are the essential words, and which words are required for liceity, but not necessarily validity.  For instance, in the Eucharist, the essential words are ”This is My Body” and “This is the Cup of My Blood;” for Reconciliation it’s “I absolve you from your sins.”  What of the oath is essential?  Were the essential words said, even if the rest were ad-libbed?  I’m no scholar of law, so I don’t know.  Bottom line here is that there is certainly a justifiable doubt as to whether the oath was valid in the form used.

So, where do we go?  Maybe we do like Catholics do for questionable Baptisms and have a conditional innauguration.  “I Barack Hussein Obama, if I have not already done so, do hereby swear that I will….” Do we presume validity until the Supreme Court or some other tribunal issues a declaration of nullity?

Interesting stuff.  See what fun you can have when you mix church and state?

***Update*** Heard on the news this morning.  Apparently, the Chief Justice went to the White House On Wednesday and re-administerd the oaths of office to both the President and the Vice-President.  Someone said this is usually done anyway; another speculated that it was because the words of the oath were flubbed.  Either way, this takes care of the question of form in the exercise above.

So, it seems that BHO is the President.  Let the wailing and grinding of teeth begin.

Then again, there is still the matter of matter, and the possibility that he was not a natural-born citizen.

Post Script:  “No Person except a natural born Citizen….”  Does that mean if you were C-sectioned you are ineligible for office?

Watching the media hoopla leading up to today, I half expect to see news reporters lead the throngs of people in D.C. in cutting palm branches off of the trees and lining the streets of the parade route while singing Hosanna, to celebrate their king’s trimphant entry into Washington.  Then again, palm trees don’t grow in D.C. so maybe they’ll use the branches of the cherry blossom trees instead.

So, being ever liturgically-minded, there should be some appropriate processional songs to go with the parade.  While it’d be most appropriate to parody “Hosana Filio David” the Latin would probably drive all the liberals batty, so instead we should dust off the old Palm Sunday staple: All Glory Laud and Honor.

Refrain:
All Glory, Laud, and Honor
To You Barack Hussein!
Whose Coming into Office
Is the Devil’s Gain.

You’re likely not legitimate
A floosie’s for’n-born son.
Who through some great deception
A hot election won.
(Refrain)

The company of liberals
Are praising you on high
And we who know much better
Just mutter a deep sigh.
(Refrain)

The people of the media
Bowed down where’er you went
Their bias and their favors
From God made you seem sent.
(Refrain)

You pledge to make it legal
To kill our unborn babes.
No rights for unborn people
As in the days of slaves.
(Refrain)

Welfare grant for the lazy
And subsidies great and small.
Nobody ever cared to ask
How you’ll pay for it all.
(Refrain)

Rather than ask you why you want
Gestapo police squads;
Instead they just showed pictures
Of your bare-chested bod.
(Refrain)

Satan is surely laughing
At the U. S. of A
Men of good will will suffer
And 4 years fast and pray.
(Refrain)

F.O.C.A. is evil.  Anybody with two working brain cells and even a slightly well-formed conscience knows that.  Pure and simple, this potential law is evil.

So, class, why is it evil?  Or better phrased, what about this act is the most evil, reprehensible fact about it?  Is it:

1. that abortion would be considered a fundamental right, perhaps on par with life (ha!), liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?
2. that all the advances in the cause of life would be eradicated, that anyone could abort at any time, including right up until the point of delivery?
3. that medical professionals would be enslaved by the law to perform procedures which they are morally, ethically, or professionally opposed to without regard to their own rights?
4. that minors would be allowed to have abortions without the need to consult with their parents, or receive any sort of counseling?
5. that failure to provide abortion or attempts to counsel against it would be considered criminal offenses?
6. that physicians, hospitals, and medical providers would be forced to shut down in underserved and/or impoverished areas to avoid cooperation with grave evil?
7. or that since there can be no regulation on abortion, there can’t be laws enforcing health standards for abortion clinics or training for abortionists, so anyone can open a filthy clinic somewhere which would put people’s health at risk?

(more…)

I promise, a post is coming soon with all the details.  It’s been a busy day.  And I’m exhausted.  4.5 hours of sleep can do that to one.

Paraphrased from Monday’s homily:

After several weeks of preparation and celebration, Advent and Christmas are over.  Now it’s back to the day-to-day business of discipleship.

***I wrote this post on Monday, but apparently “save as draft” isn’t the same as “publish.”  Just in case anyone was wondering why there was an OT – I, but not anything to follow.

In the sacristy, prior to Mass.

Lector*:  “What does refulgence mean?”

Me:  “To fulgence again.”

Note to all Mass-goers.  The Christmas season is over.  We’re back to Ordinary Time.

Your clergy are not wearing green vestments this week in support of the Eagles.  It’s just a coincidence.

Just so we’re clear.

Barbie: Good morning, and welcome to Channel 3610 Actionwitness News Early Morning Show. I’m Barbie.

Ken: And I’m Ken. Our top story today is the impending doom that is going to be caused by the few flakes of snow that have fallen outside. We have a team of reporters standing by throughout the area to talk about how absolutely dangerous the driving conditions are out there.

Barbie: Indeed we do, Ken, and we also have meteorologist BetsyWetsy following this storm with our super-duper-doppler Googol-50 as well and we’ll start with her.

BW: Hi Ken and Barbie, I tell you, it’s really really bad out there right now. Our super-duper doppler googol-50 has estimated that the white stuff is falling at a rate of about 5 snowflakes per square-mile per hour. We’ll continue to have this high rate of snow for the next couple hours, resulting in upwards of a few millimeters of accumulation. I’ll have more details coming up later. Ken and Barbie, back to you.

Barbie: Thanks Betsy. As we’ve mentioned, we have a team of reporters out and about to report on road conditions. Let’s start with reporter Mark S. Neaman, who has been out and about for a few hours now and joins us LIVE downtown. Mark.

MSN: Good morning Ken and Barbie. I have to tell you, in the 3.7 weeks I’ve been covering winter storms here in Pennsylvania, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen it this bad. Snow is literally falling out of the sky right now. Driving is really really dangerous as well. As we were driving to our location our vehicle swerved several times. The photographer who was driving insists it was because of potholes, but this reporter isn’t buying that. It’s treacherous out there right now, and it only looks to get worse. Live along some deserted street in the city, I’m Mark S. Neaman, back to you in the studio.

Ken: Mark, you said a deserted street. Is that because people are being smart and staying home, or is it because it’s 5:05 a.m. right now and nobody’s out driving anyway?

MSN: Oh, I’m pretty sure the snow has something to do with it. Normally at this time of day 3 cars go by an hour, but today that average is down to 2.8. My advice is to just stay home.

Barbie: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm good advice indeed. Thanks Mark you be careful out there. Let’s switch pictures and go to Bo Tox who is live at the DOT headquarters where the salt trucks are getting ready.

BT: Hi Barbie and Ken, the DOT is ready for whatever Mother Nature might provide with this storm. Trucks are loaded with salt and have been out brining the road since 3:30p.m. last night in anticipation of the horrible driving conditions out there. Officials at the DOT and the State Police urge everyone to JUST STAY HOME if they can today. I spoke to some of the plow and salt operators and they are all set to earn their overtime with this storm as well. Live at DOT HQ I’m Bo Tox, and I have to say Ken and Barbie that I’m really jealous of you guys in the warm studio right now.

Ken: Haha, yeah, we’ve got it nice. Get inside Bo and get some nice cocoa to help warm you up.

BT: You bet.

Barbie: As you can see, it is really terrible out there right now. Folks, unless you absolutely have to be somewhere, please, PLEASE don’t go out on those roads.

Ken: Now, as you can imagine when the forecast calls for some of the white stuff to fall, it’s not just the DOT preparing, but people make personal preparations as well. Last night we sent Actionwitness News crews to 18 different grocery stores in the area, and milk, bread, and eggs were all flying off the shelves like they were being given away for free. As you can see from these pictures people were waiting in line at the checkstands for quite some time with their much-needed snow supplies. We asked shoppers for their thoughts on the impending storms.

Olga Vodka Smirnov, Grocery Shopper: De lines at de regeesters are wery long. Eez like de bread lines ve had een Russia many years ago. But back den in Russia ve no pay for de bread.

Barbie: And we had crews as several department stores and mass-merchandisers as well. As you can see here, lots of people hitting the store for snow shovels, ice scrapers, salt, ice melt, and snow blowers. We asked one manager for his thoughts.

Wally Lowe, Manager of StuffMart: This is great. We love it when you guys predict snow because people come out in droves. It’s like they totally forget that they just bought all those shovels and all that ice melt last week. Sales are really up right now, and I’m kind of hoping we have a few more snow storms. It could make up for those dismal sales we had during the winter holiday.

Ken: It’s good to see people are getting so prepared for what may be the biggest disaster to hit our area since yesterday afternoon.

Barbie: Yes it certainly is. Now, as you know, we’ll continue to monitor the track of this storm, and follow all the devastation that a quarter inch of snow is certain to bring. As we’ve been saying all morning, be very careful out there. Don’t go anywhere if you don’t have to. If you must head out, be extra careful.

Ken: That’s right. Here’s some safety tips for you. Allow yourself PLENTY of extra time. Slow down considerably on the roads, even if they look like they’ve been plowed and are completely dry. Don’t follow other vehicles too closely. It can be treacherous out there, so be careful.

Barbie: Yes, we can’t emphasize how dangerous it is to be outside and driving enough. Of course, stay with Channel 3610 Actionwitness news all morning long. We have crews out driving all throughout the region, even though it’s not safe to drive. We will have live reports throughout the day from reporters who will be standing 3 inches from the edge of the white line on the shoulder of the interstates, and of course, Betsy and her crew are following the storm using our super-duper-doppler Googol-50. Nobody covers the impending doom from a few flakes of snow like Actionwitness news.

Ken: And when we return, Betsy will join us for another look at the forecast, and we’ll go back out to our field reporters for traffic updates. And, a little later on the Actionwitness news morning show, a first look at the 2012 presidential election, and why you should vote to re-elect Barack Obama. We’re back right after this.