November 2008


Last Christmas, I received two gift cards to Barnes and Noble from the PREP kids.  As we’re getting close to another Christmas, I figured I should probably go and reddem them at some point.  So I went to Barnes and Noble dot com and started browsing.  I had a book recommendation from someone and added that to my cart.  Cost: $13.49.  Since B&N offers fast and free shipping for orders over $25, I figured I should add something else, so I splurged and bought a CD, which cost $13.29.  Total:  $26.78, but I’m saving $5 on the shipping.  Sure, spending $13 to save $5 is cutting off your nose to spite your face, but, I had planned on purchasing the CD anyway at some point, so no big deal.

Then I did my homework and went to currentcodes.com and retailmenot.com to see what kind of promos were going on that I could take advantage of.  Sure enough, B&N was offering 15% off a single item with a particular code.  Jackpot! I added the code and saved $2.03 on the book.  (Hey, this was on some PREP families, but it still behooves me to be as frugal as possible.)  Then I saw something strange.  The grand total went UP after adding the coupon.  Huh?

Then I did the math.  By adding the coupon, it brought the total for the two items to $24.75.  Since I was now below $25, I didn’t qualify for the free shipping and had to pay $4.98 in S&H.  Off by a freakin’ quarter!

There’s a hardcover version of the book available.  That cost an additional $4.  If I would have upgraded to that, with the coupon, I would have qualified for the free shipping, but it still would have paid more than if I had just not used the coupon code.  I could have looked around to see if there was something else I could have bought, but this was already wasting too much of my time at this point.

So I deleted the coupon code, got my free shipping back, and completed the transaction.  Who would have thunk that by NOT using a coupon you could spend less?

Now it occurs to me that I should have added some random book to the order to get above $25, and then when it arrived, returned it to a B&N store, received a credit on one of the gift cards, and still enjoyed the free shipping.  Not sure about the morality of that, though.  Oh well.

After seeing the latest Christmas [random generic holiday] car commercials where one spouse buys the other a brand new Lexus, Audi, etc., and surprises said spouse on Christmas [generic holiday] morning by opening a curtain to reveal this new vehicle with a giant bow on it, all I can say is that if I were ever married and my wife bought me a car as a Christmas gift, I’d probably look into whether that can qualify as grounds for an annulment. 

That is, unless we were so wealthy that spending $50-60,000 on gifts for each other were reasonable.

Picking up on an idea from a while ago, I thought of the following conversation around one of heaven’s water coolers.

Angel Al:  Hey, Ralph, long time no see.

Angel Ralph:  What’s up Al?  It’s been a while.

Al:  Yeah, a crazy couple of months lately.  You know how it is when we get close to our feast day.

Ralph:  Don’t I know it.  You go 10 months of the year without so much as a “hello” or “thank you” from your human, and then October 2 rolls around and suddenly they remember you exist.  Now I’m getting invoked directly just about every day.  Though it’s been a month and a half now, so it’s backing off a bit.

Al: Well, you know what they say, feast day or famine.

Ralph:  (Groans.)  The saints go through the same thing.  Sure, a lot of them have the little old ladies who are constantly praying to them, but come the feast day, they get flooded and are passing things on non-stop.

Al:  Yeah, but I hear the new program of outsourcing the prayer requests to the Chinese, Vietnamese, and Korean martyrs is going well.  There’s so many of them that it makes light work of things.  Therese and Francis were much more relaxed following their feasts, and I hear Luke even got to take a quick lunch break that day.

Ralph: Cool.  We should have done that a long time ago.  I wonder if we could tap into that.  Poor Mike is really in need of help.  I hear he’s really upset about the whole Obama thing.

Al:  I know, poor guy.  Granted you can’t win them all.  So many people asking him to go fight, but the enemy really had the upper hand this time.

Ralph:  Yeah, well, remember, I’m assigned to Sister Mountain Dew of the Spirit of Vatican II.  Imagine how embarrassed I was every time I had to carry one of her prayers for Obama to win to the throne.  Everytime I went up there I’m like “I’m just an angel; don’t smite the messenger.”

Al:  Now who’s making the bad puns!  At least my human knows that abortion is more important than tax-funded after school programs.  I wish there was more we could do.

Ralph:  Yeah, I know.  Alright, I better get going.  Mountain Dew has been visiting a womynpriests website, and intel says she’s also been booking tickets for a river cruise.   I’ve got orders to try and stop her from getting further into it.  Wish me luck.

Al:  Oh good luck with that.  Take care.

Ralph:  Later.

There are some weeks where you just “know” what you’re going to hear as the homily at Sunday Mass based on the readings.  It’s the Xth Sunday of Ordinary Time which is the Parable of Y so we’ll be hearing Father (or Deacon) preach Z because everytime the Parable of Y comes up, we hear Z.

This past Sunday, the Gospel was the parable of the master who doled out talents in varying quantities to his servants,  and as told by Matthew, two went off and traded and doubled the investment, while the third went off and hid what he received to return only what he received.  The cynic in me expected this to be one of those situations where we get the typical canned homily.  To my surprise, Father gave it a twist and preached a really good, and different, homily and I figured I should record the gist of it for posterity.

Normally, the canned, tried-and-true homily on this Gospel goes something like this:  “God gave you certain talents.  You don’t want to be like the third servant who went and hid what he was given.   You need to you use your talents to build up the Kingdom of God.  So go and volunteer.  If God gave you a singing voice, join the church choir.  If you can sort of play two chords on the guitar, join the contemporary music group. ([cynical] If you can eke out more than two chords, then don’t. [/cynical])  If you have a talent for teaching, think about volunteering to teach CCD.  If you are good at cooking, join up with a local food pantry.  Don’t bury these talents God has given you; make use of them to help out your fellow man.”  The more “stewardship-y” your parish is, the more of these lines you get.  C’mon, we’ve all heard it.  If your priest is particularly good, he’ll throw in there something about upping your envelope offerings too.  The emphasis is on the third servant, who hid what what was given to him, and how we should not be like that.

So, here’s a summary of Fr. Concha’s homily.  The Lord has given everybody a pool of talent to use while he is away.  We have options as to what we do with them.  We can be like the first two servants and go trade with them to receive more, or we can be like the third who kept what he had.  Some would say that this Gospel encourgages us to use our talents.  Some say if you’re good at writing then you should write and if you’re good at gardening then you should garden and if you’re good at both you should write about gardening.  But this is a very selfish view.  Rather, we need to trade with our talents to gain more, and to be willing to do whatever the Lord calls us to do with them.  He then gave an example of a young Karol Wojtyla, who was incredibly talented in the area of theatre, writing plays, acting, and performing.  When he considered entering the seminary and becoming a priest, so many tried to discourage him, on account of what he would be giving up.  It would mean an end to his dramatic career.  But the Lord was calling him to the priesthood, and so he followed.  As Pope JPII, he was able to still leverage those earlier talents, but in new and different ways.  God is calling us to do likewise.  We need to be willing to give up the talents we have in order to gain new ones.  We have to be like the wife in the first reading, who uses her talents and learns new ones to bring many good things to the household.  We can’t simply take what we have and stop there, but we have to ask the Lord what can we do to make them better and get new ones?  And sometimes that means giving up certain gifts.  Then truly we will be following the example of the good servants who traded their talents and ended up returning more on the investment.  And then when we come face to face with the Lord, he will say to us “Well done, good and faithful servant.  Come share your master’s joy.”

I’ve never heard that take on this passage before, yet it totally makes sense.  Interestingly enough, on Wednesday, the Gospel gave the Lucan account of the same parable.  (Fr. Concha also gave a homily on this Gospel that was completely different, yet equally cool, but this post is going to be long enough without explaining that one as well.)  In Luke’s version, the master actually says “Engage in trade with these until I return.”  And so I got to thinking again.

The idea of trading is to give up something you have in exchange for something different.  Fundamental to any exchange is the notion that the value of what is being received is greater than the value of what is being given up.  (At it’s root, that’s the entire basis of the market system, is it not?)  And so sometimes we need to sacrifice some of our talents in exchange for something that will bring a greater good. 

Naturally, there’s a vocational tie-in to all this.  Whatever vocation God has for us, it will require us to make certain sacrifices, but the reward will be much greater.  And those talents that we can no longer exercise because of the new state in life will be replaced by ones that are considerably greater, if we allow God to do His work.

I’d love to go on with more observations, but I think I’ll leave this here for now, and maybe do a follow-up later.  In any case, it was really nice to have a different homily that encouraged thought and reflection.

Now that oil prices are falling and gas is diving toward only $2 a gallon, I’m wondering when the “fuel surcharges” imposed by a variety of businesses will begin to be phased out.

Likewise, since the airlines’ charging us per checked bag was due to the excess fuel necessary because of the weight, I’m assuming we’ll start to see those fees reduced as well.

Right?

Memo

To: The contingent of sisters and chatty old ladies who were at the closing Mass of 40 hours tonight
From: Me, and the dozens of others who were stuck behind you
Date: 11 November, Memorial of St. Martin of Tours
Re: Etiquette
***********************************************
Mesdames,

During tonight’s Eucharistic procession from the church to the conference room/makeshift chapel for Benediction, many of you opted not to join the procession but to take a shortcut into the room.  The rest of your lot were pretty close to the front of the procession and were the first to arrive.  So, you all ended up front and center.

Perhaps you were not aware of all the people who opted to kneel for the final moments of Adoration prior to Benediction, though you could have taken the cue from all of the priests, deacons, servers, (and the folks on your left and right) that were doing so.  That you all remained standing is not really a concern; it is understandable given your advanced age that kneeling may not be possible.

However, given that you all stood right smack in front of the altar, you blocked the view for the many people who were kneeling behind you.  As a result, instead of being able to gaze upon the Lord in humble Adoration, we were stuck gazing at the back of your legs.  Not quite the same experience. 

Now, you probably didn’t think of this, but the chapel was set up in a large, empty space.  There were no pews or chairs or any other obstructions and people just filtered in and stood or knelt where able.  You probably also didn’t notice another large group of elderly ladies and gentlemen who were also unable to kneel on the floor, who opted to stand off to the side and to the back of the room.  In so doing, they allowed those of us who opted to kneel to do so with minimal visual obstruction both for themselves and for us.

Perhaps next time a similar situation arises, you too could take a lesson from your brethren and move off to the side and back somewhere, and let those who are going to kneel in front.  Really, this is simple courtesy.  Then everyone will have an opportunity to see Our Lord, and see the Benediction.  Your fellow parishoners would be most thankful if you did.

We were kind about it this time.  But the temptation to shout “move out of the way” was most definitely there.  As was the temptation to turn a missalette into a missile and knock you down.  I can’t promise we’ll be so restrained next time.  Because given a choice of looking at Our Lord in the Eucharist and looking at your cankles, most of us would rather Jesus.

What’s left to do today, besides voting, but pray?

If the polls are to be believed, we need a miracle.  It can happen — it’s happened before.  Pray to Our Lady of Victory for the defeat of the anti-life forces that are clouding this election.  Pray to St. Michael.  Invoke any and every saint you can.  Ask the Holy Spirit to inspire the hearts and actions of every voter to use their gift of free will to vote for candidates who think life is sacred.  The future of millions upon millions of innocent lives is at stake.

To echo the words of Bishop Finn:  if you’re thinking of voting for Barack Obama, ”give consideration to your eternal salvation.”

But whatever you do, pray.

St Michael, defend us in battle.  Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.  May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, cast into Hell Satan, and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.

http://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/Litanies/saints.htm