August 2008


I took another rare trip to the mall this evening (Friday) – I need a new shirt, tie, and shoes for my sister’s wedding next weekend.  I was quite saddened by some of things I saw.

Standing outside one of the cell phone kiosks in the mall were two teens.  The poor girl must have had some kind of nasty muscle spasms in her buttocks, because the entire time the duo was transacting business with the cell phone vendor, the gentlemen was massaging her gluteal muscles nonstop.  He seemed rather young to be a physician, physical therapist, or any other kind of medical professional, so I can only assume this was an acute case of gluteal strain, and he was trying to massage the muscles while they were waiting for their cell phone to be fixed by the rep so they could summon the appropriate medical attention.  I was going to offer my cell phone to them so they could get through to the doctor quickly, but it looked like they were finishing up so I figured i’d just leave them be.

Elsewhere, I couldn’t help but notice what I assume to be a severly impoverished group of teenage boys wandering aimlessly.  My heart went out to these kids.  Obviously their families must be victims of some sort of tragedy like being laid off and jobless, and they were no longer able to maintain their lavish lifestyle of indulgent eating.  Most of them had lost so much weight from the starvation that their pants were now about 3 sizes too large, and were hanging down well below the waist, exposing their undergarments for all to see.  These poor kids.  I was really tempted to go up to them and offer them some money so they could feed themselves and get back to fitting into their pants, but I decided not to.  See, I also noticed that this little pack was wandering around aimlessly, and none of them seem to have any intent of making any purchases in any of the stores.  I’m sure they’re just in the mall to retain some sort of dignity.  By looking, they can pretend they still have the financial means to make purchases, even though they have no intention of actually doing so, and so they would blend in to the rest of society, and maybe nobody would notice their severe poverty.  Had I gone up and offered them a warm meal, or to buy some clothes that fit, I’m sure it would have been horribly embarrassing to them.  I hope they’re okay.

Apparently, this economic crisis we keep hearing about on the news is of greater magnitude than I thought, because it seemed most of the teenage girls I saw were in the same boat.  These poor girls were all wearing clothes that they must have had in elementary school before they hit their growth spurts.  Everything seemed super tight, and way too short in the hemline and low in the neckline.  Obviously these gals haven’t been able to buy anything since those clothes properly covered their torsos and legs 10 years ago.  What a shame.  Several girls looked like they were wearing inner tubes because their shirts and pants were so tight that all their excess body fat boinked out their middles.  And you should see how ragged looking some of this stuff is too.  All tattered, worn, ripped, shredded — like it was 10 years old.  What a shame.

A lot of them seemed to wear the Hollister brand.  I’m guessing they sell quality clothing that can last around 10 years at deccent prices for these impoverished teens.  I went past the store and my heart was slightly lifted.  To avoid embarrassment, they’ve boarded up all the windows and have only a small entrance.  That way we can’t see who’s in there shopping.  They also had really loud music playing.  I assume that’s so that the rest of the public can’t hear the discussions parents are having with their kids about the lack of money to buy anything new.

Ahh, these poor kids, growing up with such medical conditions and poor living conditions.  Makes me very thankful for all the good that I’ve received in my life.  Though I am a little worried.  Am I the rich man shopping sumptuously at Sears, while all these Lazaruses are congregating in our malls longing to wear the scraps of clothing I throw out?

I wonder, do they have all kinds of fonts in non-Latin alphabets?  When a student in India sits down to write a term paper, is the first thing he does changing the font from the Sanskrit variant of Times New Roman to a Sanskrit Arial since it’s a bigger font (and therefore making it easier to get to 10 pages)?  Do they have serif and non-serif versions of Cyrillic in Russia?

…we’ll have the latest pictures of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s twins.  Here’s a hint, one of them looks like he’s smiling!  Then, we’ll take a look at the latest blotter of which Hollywood stars are dating, shacking up, marrying, separating, and divorcing this week.

Later on Meteorologist so-and-so will be back with the forecast and Super-Duper-Ultra-Mega SHAZAMM Doppler 15 and a half million.  After some more cross talk about those cute little twins, we might have some time to take a look at the latest story on our dwindling economy, a little about the violence in the Middle East and Afghanistan, the ineptitude of Philadelphia’s child protection workers leading to more firings at City Hall, and some other fluff that might have been considered news years ago.  BUT WE’VE GOT THOSE BRANGELINA BABIES COMING, so stay tuned.